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I'm feeling validated today. This doesn't happen much, so I'm feeling special. I went to talk to the director of nurses today about my gripes. I started with the sexual harrassment by the resident. He and social services are going to talk to him about it, and if it doesn't stop, the DON, social services, the resident, and the resident's wife are all going to have a meeting about this. the DON (Director of Nurses) is going to do what ever he can to make it stop for me. How validating. Is it possible that I'm healing some? Am I actually using boundries? I shudder to think *big grin*. The other thing I talked to him about was the run from hell. He listened to me. he understood that this is a problem. I told him that the general CNA opinion on the matter was yup, this is the hardest run in the entire facility. Today I was on a different run, and he said I thought the run that you have today was the hardest one, to which I responded, Medicare? I would rather have medicare any day of the week over those rooms on the other run, I just don't have the senority to pull that off. I drag a little bit on that run mostly because I don't have the routine down over there, but it really woouldn't take me long to get that routine down if I had the opportunity to straighten myself out. I already have ideas on how to jumpstar that run should I get it tomorrow, which I don't think I will, I only had it today because 2 station one (my station) CNA's called off and a third wasn't going to be in until 1030. I was listened to. Lil ol' me was listened to. Most of it is that the DON loves me, he has said to me several times that the effort he sees from me is 120%. He is also very excited that I start LVN school in October, which reminds on Monday I have to call Concorde and make sure all my ducks are in a row to get moving on this. They still need a copy of my high school diploma and a statement of loan deferral, which I have now, so I need to go and get those in. I'm scared and excited about this, you know. I'm still growing, which is amazing for me. I can take control. I am not a victim all of the time. There are my oh poor me days, but they are getting better, the day doesn't last all day. I think aa lot of it is my job. these residents teach me so much everyday about the resiliency of the human spirit, and that hope doesnt die. Every day Alta would pack her bags, and would tell every passing nursing staff, I'll see you later, I'm going home today. All her worldly possessions would be stacked on her bed in large garbage bags, but it made her happy so hey knock your self out. I knew, as did all the other nursingg staff that she wasn't going home, her family members never came to visit, but every day would be the day that she was going home. Last night she passed away. I walked by her room today and stacked high on her bed was all her worldly possesions in large garbage bags, as if she had recently packed them together. If there is a heaven, yup, Alta, today you went home. LeAnne ---
Song
Same Man I Was Before
Oingo Boing
I'm not the same man I was before
I haven't changed my perception
I haven't lost my protection
I haven't lost, haven't lost, haven't lost
What I have, lost intentions
Two by two coming through the door
(Singing like a bird)
Boys and girls voices joined in song
(Voices in the air)
Fire crackers making so much noise
(Flying in the air)
They all start yelling at me
. . . . . Everything you do is wrong I'm not the same boy I was before
But I've not changed my desires
I've not extinguished the fires
I haven't lost wide eyed wonder
I haven't lost, haven't lost, haven't lost
The stupid fear of thunder Two by two walking hand in hand
(Walkin' in the air)
The bone come marching from the promised land
(Comes from everywhere)
Their voices carry like the sound of glass
(Breaking on the ground)
It burns my ears when they sing
. . . . . Everything you do is wrong I'm not the same ghost I was before
But I still converse with the spirits
When people talk I don't hear it
I walk through doors when no one sees me
I disappear, I disappear, disappear
Whenever it may please me
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