When we start our shift we get our daily assignment. Don't bother griping people, its not going to change, infact you run the risk of pissing off the charge nurses and it might be worse next time. Act professional, this is a professional field. Incessant cries of not fair won't help, infact all it will do is bring down the other staff. Grow the fuck up people.

When a charge nurse asks someone to do something, that person will tend to take orders from their boss. This morning, there was a change of condition in one of the residents. Charge nurse asked me to attend to his personal care before the family showed up. I'm going to do that. IO know that there are other people on the floor to pass the rest of the trays and to feed. This guy was actively dying and we wanted to make sure his family remembers him looking good. G, no matter how much you complain this won't change. This residents need level was higher priority than yours.

The thing that is really annoying about all this is it never stops. It went on all day. Tomorrrow it will happen some more, and the next day and the next. It is a never ending wad of bullshit there. Why do I keep going back there? Why haven't I put in my 2 weeks? Well, its going to sound cheesy as hell, but with the exception of two of the CNA's making my life miserable, I love it. I get along sooo well with the office staff, the licensed nurses, the registerned nurses, and the residents. I see myself probably loving this place when I get my LVN. When the LVN status hits I'll be above this crap. Hehehe I'll be able to write people up for this crap.

Oh another annoying thing. I hate that I get bitched at when I don't do other peoples work. No, fuck you I have my own stack of shit I have to deal with. There is a difference between helping one another out and doing one anothers residents. I will help. I am tired of doing other peoples work. Today I totally did another CNA's resident because that person was on the light and getting mad. Not only that, But G came up to me bitching about this resident not being done. G, this person is not mine either, but all he wants is a bucket of water and his linens. I did it just to shut her up. Today he wanted a little more, but hell, whats the big deal. It didn't break my back any.

There is a way to ask for help. Ordering someone to do it is not the way. J go make 52a's bed is not the way to ask me. Can you do me a favor and please make 52a's bed is closer. Tone of voice counts for a lot too. Prolly the biggest factor though is what the person is doing when they ask. If they are sitting on their ass watching TV hell no, I will not. I worked to damn hard today to watch you sit around like that. No one wants to get off their butt, but you have to do it anyway that is why you have a job, to do things you would rather not.

*deep breath*

On a sadder note. The resident that I spoke of earlier, the one that had a change of condition, he passed on at about 1:15p. He was a double amputee with vascular problems. He also had numerous lung and heart problems. He also was severly depressed. He wanted to die from the day he came to the hospital. More often than not he refused his meals. He was ready today. He went really fast once he was ready to go. It puts a lot of things into perspective when you watch someone die. When he passed all the crap that G was doing kinda seemed farther. When hospice came to help me do the post mortem care it was like, everything going on out there is stupid. We are here to care for these people as they are dying. Yes it is stupid, but its annoying. You bottle up all your angst about the employee problems and maintain professionalism while on the job. These people are dying they dont need to hear us arguing about who's not doing their job. Its not fair to them.

Journalling is doing me a lot of good. It gives me the chance to air out my anger at the job and lets me recover and bring it back into focus. If only all things were that easy. Well, on second thought, maybe it is.

LeAnne

---
Seasons In The Sun
Terry Jacks

Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and A B C's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.

Goodbye my friend it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climb were just seasons
Out of time......

Goodbye Papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along.

Goodbye Papa its hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children everywhere
When you see them I'll be there.

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons
Have all gone.

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the stars we could reach
Were just starfish on the beach.

Goodbye Michelle my little one
You gave me love and helped me find the sun
And every time that I was down
You would always come around
And get my feet back on the ground.

Goodbye Michelle it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climb were just seasons
Out of time......

We had joy we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song like the seasons
Have all gone.

All our lives we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the stars we could reach
Were just starfish on the beach.