She's tired. She just finished a fight with sexual abuse. She is at a new school now and feels like it will get better finally. She is 6. She works hard at her class projects and one day the pastor of the curch that the school was affiliated with comes in. He asks the teacher if he can select a helper. The teacher allows it and he picks her. She is happy that she gets to be special.

there is a house behind the school that the church owns and it sits mostly empty but with a few items stored there. smells dusty. he looks at her and she gets scared. she knows that look she has seen it in her cousins eyes when they were goin to hurt her.

He Motions at a box in the coner and tells her to take of her clothes get in it. she does. he shuts the lid. In a little while he opens the lid and pours bugs down the box. He tells her to stay still or hee would hurt her. She is terrified. there were spiders and roaches and she didnt know what else. She is scared. he opens the box and orders her out she does. he takes her to the bathroom and puts her under an icy blast of water. he says it will get the bugs off.

he takes her to a table and ties her down. she is frightened. he tkes off his tie, then removes his shirt he un zips his pants and stops. he goes to the corner where she can see a paper bag. he takes out a snake and pushes it in her. she is frightened. he seems to enjoy her fear. He takes the snake out of her and she is grateful that the snake didnt bite her. the pastor removes his pants and rapes her.

After he finishes he puts her back under the shower, blow dries her hair and sends her back to class. He repeats his little ritual weekly, sometimes more. Sometimes he takes pictures of her with his poloriod camera, some times he just let her sit in the box and wimper to herself.

She wonders if anyone would believe her. She doesnt think so so she never tells.

This continues for 2 years. The pain he gave her was always worse around Easter and christmas, right before the breaks. and he tells her that through the blood that he creates in her she is being redeemed. He tells her you have to bleed like jesus did so you can be saved. She believes it and hopes God will understand.

When she is in the third grade, she gets babptized by him, and after the baptism, she is no longer abused. the pastor tells her that god sees her as clean and that his job is no longer necessary.