This is a general way that accepting having any grief works. Yes, grief.There is a considerable amount of grief that is involved in knowing thatyou are a multiple. These are general stages in which grief is processed,however, grief is very individualized, and the way you may deal with thepain varies from my way. This is NOT a check list of any sort. These stagesoften bounce from denial to depression to denial all over again then toanger then however it happens for you. This is a general guide to whatcan be expected. This is NOT intended in any way to replace therapy becauseyou may feel that you are in acceptance.

The first time a person is told that they are DID/MPD they often gothrough a period of denial. Denial is a NORMAL stage of acceptance of ANYTHING,and DID/MPD is the same story. Denial isn't just just reserved for thefirst step either.... A person can know they have DID/MPD for years thenBAM! all of the sudden they will doubt it all over again. This is ok!!!!Be prepared for this, as it could happen everyday for a LONG time.....

When one realizes that they are a multiple and are beyond the stageof denial, they often go through a stage known as bargining. It is likesaying, "O.K. I have it, but if I work real hard then it will go awayand it will be like it never happened. I will be a very good person andit will go away." It is like you are making a deal with yourself andyou know what, deals don't work that way.

When the bargaining doesn't work as planned there is a great sense ofanger. Anger is also O.K., no matter how often it was ingrained in us aschildren that it was bad. there are MANY good ways of processing angertoo. You can clean out your refrigerator, take old dishes and break them(but be sure to were shoes and protective eye goggles, and have a vacuumhandy to clean up the mess), weed your garden, buy some clay or play-doughand build your anger into a shape and then destroy it. These are O.K. waysto help you.

When the anger is gone, depression soon follows. Depression can oftencome from realizing that life is going on and that you are closer to believingin the unbelievable. Depression itself is ok, however, what you do withdepression can vary greatly and be far from ok. Attempting suicide is NOTok. Cutting yourself is NOT ok. Crying is ok. Talking to others, usingchat rooms, any artistic expression, and crying some more is O.K.. If youwant, you can use Split Angel's chat channel or any other that you mayfind that helps you.

Acceptance of being a person with DID/MPD is something that people strivefor. It often comes with years of therapy and absorbing all the informationout there on the subject that you can find. Acceptance opens new doorsfor therapy issues and self discovery (but beware, self discovery oftenleads to set backs on the acceptance scale, and this is alright and NORMAL)